are you serious?

Entries Tagged as 'are you serious?'

Los Angeles Zoo

November 14th, 2009 2 Comments

Photos from our afternoon date at the LA Zoo today.

Tags: are you serious? · giraffe photos · Los Angeles Zoo · monkey business · tagging on bamboo · tagging on plants · the zoo is a great place to go on a date · trashy · vandalism · Why is the LA Zoo so dirty?

At approximately 12:34 in the morning I was reminded of the perfect word to describe the all too many unfortunate events that have cropped up lately. Sairan (屎人). It’s a Taiwanese word comprised of two characters: shit (屎) and person (人). And the meaning is exactly that, shit person! This is a term used to describe a person who has “shit” happening to them all the time; hence, shit person. And I think that this is a pretty good word to describe me lately–the car window, cell phone incident, and now this door knob thing! Oh, that’s what I have to explain to you.

So I got up for a quick trip to the bathroom at 12:34 last night (early this morning, actually) and I reached for the bedroom door and of all the unexpected things that could have happened, with no other explanation other than I am a sairan, the door knob fell off! Just like that, I turned the knob and it fell to the floor. It may not sound like a big deal but it is, because without it I was locked in the bedroom! I just wanted to go pee and get back to counting sheep. Why, oh, why does this shit happen to me?!

Without tools and a bladder that was ready to explode, my attempt to somehow reattach the knob was simply not working. Taking the hinges off the door with a pair of scissors, swiping a credit card through to somehow unjam the door, and trying everything else that one can think of doing in the middle of the night didn’t move the door an inch. So to make a long story short, I had to climb out of my bedroom window in the rain–not a safe thing to do because it’s pretty high up and all wet outside–and go over to the property manager’s place, barefoot and in my PJ’s. I did eventually get the door unlocked but not without a stupid fight with the property manager. That, I will not talk about here. It was ugly and I am trying to forget that it even happened. A late night it was last night!

When they say that shit happens, they aren’t kidding. I’m really tired of being a sairan. I could really use a stroke of luck here. Only so many bad things can happen before something good comes along, right? Now is the time for something good!!!

DISCLAIMER: (1) sairan is not a nice word so don’t use it. (2) sorry for using so much harsh language tonight. (3) and, as self-deprecating as I may sound in this blog, that is not the case at all. Okay? So just laugh with me if you will! How about some knob jokes? Oh, and no animals were hurt in the creation of this blog! ha

Tags: are you serious? · 屎人 · cory · door knob · middle of the night · not again · old houses · sairan · shit person · uh-oh

Say what?

May 12th, 2005 No Comments

Yesterday, I was showing my third year students pictures of Taiwan and telling them all about my experiences in the three times I went there. In the beginning, I told them that if they were good listeners and asked questions in the end that I would show them a picture of Farah. Naturally, this kept them quiet and got them asking loads of questions when it came time for that. Pretty tricky, huh? So anyway, when the kids asked me questions, I invited them to the front of class to individually take a look at Farah’s picture. Most kids responded with a big grin and said things like, “Berii kyu-to (very cute),” “Kawaii (cute),” or my absolute favorite, “Yabai (`Oh, my god,` or something like that)!” But this one f*cker comes up to the front and has the nerve to say, “Futsuu dane,” which is the equivalent of saying, “Yeah, I guess she’s okay,” or “She’s just average.” Can you believe that? This kid just gave my wife the grade of “she’s all right.”

So in response, after a deep breath and a lengthy glare, I said to him in my best mad voice in Japanese, “Sonna koto itte OMAE wa heiki nanoka?” Translation: “How can you even say something like that, you punk!?” He answered in half-assed polite Japanese by saying, “Heiki ssu,” which in other words means, “Yeah, no problem.” So I repeated the question and informed him that he just insulted my wife. And then he says that he didn’t know that it was my wife. Apparently, he must have thought that he was critiquing just some random girl!! Hello!! Konnichiwa!! Bonjour!! Amigo, I just finished telling the entire class that it was my wife! I guess that announcing it at least ten times and the fact that he didn’t get it can only mean that he belongs in the class down the hall that comes to school on the little yellow bus. But even if he didn’t know, he should have wondered why I was making such a big deal about showing the picture of a girl and whose family it was (Farah`s family) hanging up on the chalkboard right in front of his face. To say the least, I was fuming and ready to kill anyone with a Japanese passport! Well, not really, but I did need a moment to cool off. I guess that I don’t take well to insults directed at my wife, even if they are not true insults. There is just a trigger within me that is easily pulled. I know that he’s just a punk kid and he did it for a reaction from the class but still… So just don’t be a punk and say crap about my wife and I’ll be okay with you. Are we cool, amigo?

Tags: are you serious? · F-You · Go ahead · I'll make your day · kawaii · pink kid · what did you say?

Directions

April 12th, 2005 No Comments

If I had a nickel for every time that I scratched my head in reaction to the whacked things that happen to me in Japan, I would not be a rich man, but I might have several nickel-shaped bald spots on my head! So the story goes a little something like this: yesterday, Farah and I went to Tokyo to take care of some medical stuff and being that it was our first time to see this doctor, I called the doctor’s office for directions after arriving at the station; you see, it’s sometimes very difficult to find places in Japan because everything is so cluttered and so on. So I was instructed to, “Walk straight for a couple of minutes and turn at the big intersection,” and then in even more in-detail and helpful instructions, “Then walk straight again for a couple of minutes and you will see a brown building.” It was this brown building that we had to find and we thought that surely there had to be some landmarks that she could have spoken of to help guide us along the way–a furniture store, 7-11, Yoshinoya, or anything to make this not such a difficult search. I was hesitant but what could I do? The lady just wasn’t helping me out. So we sought out the big intersection and proceeded to turn, all the way wondering if we were traveling in the right direction. Then, after a couple of minutes of walking, to the receptionists’ credit, we saw the brown building. And what major landmark is it that stands across the street from the brown building, literally, within the throwing distance of any two pebbles? At no more than 333 meters high and the second tallest landmark in all of Japan next to Mt Fuji, the Tokyo Tower demands the skyline of the city and prevails right next to this office building! Do you think that she could have bothered mentioning this to me? Would this have helped us find our way? Oh, you mean it’s right next to the big, orange tower that was on the postcard I sent my mother last week? Thanks a lot, lady! And thanks for hassling us about not bringing a pen with us either! She actually lectured us for not having a pen but later was more than happy to accept our outrageously expensive bill without any remorse. People like this drive me crazy!!!

Tags: 333 · are you serious? · asking for directions in japan · bad directions · giving directions in japan · help me out here a little · Japanese directions · tokyo tower · what the heck?

Graduation

March 20th, 2005 No Comments

I don’t remember junior high school graduation being such a big deal like it was here at my school/ workplace today. For starters, it lasted THREE HOURS! So not only was it literally a pain in the butt, but it was morbid, dispiriting, and extremely exaggerated! It was like the world was going to end or something. Saying good-bye to friends can be emotional but there is a clear difference between crying and weeping and what I witnessed today was weeping. It was just too much to see 300 kids ball their eyes out in unison, continuing for what seemed liked an eternity. It was so much like a funeral. Really! As a teacher at my school said, which sums things up quite nicely, “There are two days a year that I feel glad to be a teacher and graduation day is one of them!” From what I am told, some teachers take great pleasure in getting the students all worked-up emotionally so that they feel good about the high demands of their jobs and the many personal sacrifices they must make along the way in the name of teaching. Being a prisoner at work and slave to society, it may be all worthwhile once you see your students cry–a self-serving release of emotion!! To say the least, it was pathetic to watch kids become the emotional victims of the faculty. I felt sorry for the kids and pity for the teachers. So on that happy note, congrats to all of those who graduated junior high school this week. What an amazing accomplishment!!!!!!